He once went to grammar school
In sixties Merseyside
Where masters wore the mortar boards
And school kids ran to hide
Where Masters chose a punishment
Of any type preferred
And kids were very soundly whipped
And no one really cared
He was beaten on the arse
And backs of legs and hands
And slippered with a massive shoe
And other reprimands
Had to stand for hours long
And with his nose alone
Would press two books of Evensong
Without a single moan
Against a wall while masters looked
And there, he would remain
And if he moved or dropped a book
He'd simply get the cane
And when he went back home to mum
With welts on blackened hands
His Ma would say "You're just a bum
Deserved of reprimands"
And so he looked to modern youth
With angst and much alarm
The words he spoke proclaimed his truth
"It never did me harm"